Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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