That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
