it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
