Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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