I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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