I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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