did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
that is very illegal...i love you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
