he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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