im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
