brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
