He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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