You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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