i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize