its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize