Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
