Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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