Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
