this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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