You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I will be naked everywhere
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
