I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
