i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
