Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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