this beer tastes like vomit already
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
