Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
