What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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