Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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