im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
