I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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