ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
