I want you more than these girls want KFC
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
