Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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