I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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