Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
ttyl tear gas
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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