I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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