how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
