Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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