I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
