It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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