you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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