she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Everyone says I win the strip club
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
