i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
