Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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