I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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