it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize