Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
