weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
