you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize