I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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