he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
