If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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