I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
