I think I won the penis lottery.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She told me I should be a condom model.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
