We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
