I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
