The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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