is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
