Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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