how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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