there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
