I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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