My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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