It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
