this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
