I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
